Fat Friday: Garlic-Roasted Sweet Potatoes

I don't know about you, but any recipe with the word "garlic" in it has me doing a double-take. I don't particularly care for smelling like garlic for the next 3 days after mincing it, but I'm willing to make the sacrifice just to get that goodness in my mouth.

I think I found this recipe in a Martha Stewart magazine. It was a pre-felony publication, when I was a particularly obnoxious Martha wannabe - never missed her daytime show, had an annual subscription to her magazine and was forever trying out her recipes. She was my heroine but let's face it - if cold cereal wasn't a dinnertime option in her house, we'd never be full-on buds.

And here's another shocker - many of Martha's recipes were not doable for a mother with 3 kids all under the age of 4 and in diapers. It sounds crazy but I just didn't have time to temper chocolate and make homemade ravioli. I was too busy changing diapers and making elaborate Thomas the Tank Engine train track configurations.

So imagine my relief when this recipe caught my eye and I realized how utterly easy it was! Six ingredients with a prep time of 10 minutes. Plus, it was just odd enough that I. WAS. IN. Odd in that I'm not a particular fan of sweet potatoes - those overly mashed, sticky-with-marshmallows-and-syrup things that are popular at Thanksgiving. These were different - garlicky and savory and roasted.

Let's try them, shall we?

Peel the sweet potatoes and slice off the ends. I look for sweet potatoes that are fairly even in circumference. Duane and I can eat two, with leftovers.

No, now that you ask, my kids don't eat them. Stinkers.

Cut them into 1-1/2-inch rounds.

In a very large bowl, put olive oil, salt, dried thyme, red pepper flakes and minced garlic. I like to use my microplane grater for the garlic. It minces it so finely it's almost a paste, making it easier to whisk it into the oil.

Once that's mixed thoroughly . . .

Dump the sweet potato rounds into the oil mixture. Use your claw-like, alien man-hands to toss and thoroughly coat each round.

Spread them on a cookie sheet. I use a silicone liner but if you don't have one, line your cookie sheet with foil.

Bake 35- 40 minutes at 400F. I start testing for doneness around 30 minutes by poking them with a fork. We like them soft but not mushy.

(Click here for printable recipe.)

These make a fabulous side for Thanksgiving turkey or roast pork. Plus, they're just so dang pretty!

Martha, thank you for lowering the bar for me. You done good, sister.

Freak Show

You want strange? You want freaky? You want to say, "Oooooh. Weird." to yourself?

You've come to the right place.

A couple of posts ago I shared my gardening expertise with you - how to garden correctly and the best tools to use. I know, I'm an educator. What I neglected to teach you was the importance of wearing long sleeves no matter what the season.

Because this could happen -

I have around 70 insect bites. They're mostly on my forearms with a couple on my legs. I didn't see the bugs, didn't feel them bite me and I am now on day 18 of being itchy and miserable. I'm on a prescription antihistamine that makes me sleepy and a steroid ointment for the bites.

I look like a freak and the whole family is constantly saying, "Don't scratch! Mom you're scratching!" To which I respond -

"I KNOW I'm scratching. I MEAN to do it. I WANT TO SCRATCH." If I get scars I know I'll regret it but I just don't care at this point.

The older I get, the more I react to insect bites. A split-second mosquito bite - I can watch it land and kill it immediately - will swell up and bother me with weeks of itching. In the back of my mind I wonder if this is a progressively worsening allergy of some kind. Like, one day I'll get a bite and go into anaphylactic shock.

My family will end up on 20/20 saying things like (sobbing), "We BEGGED her not to scratch."

I just wish I knew what kind of bug it was so I could spray the living crud out of my yard with gallons of poison watch for it.

In the meantime I'll wear long sleeves and drink plenty of Mike's - a known cure for gardening ailments.

Here's another thing -

This is the area outside our back door. Can you see the freshly turned dirt around the plants? I didn't do it. I rarely turn dirt if I can get someone else Duane to do it for me. Actually, the only time I dig in the dirt is when I'm burying our cat's various dead animal trophies with which she regularly showers us.

Anyway, for a couple of days, we noticed the cats just sitting on the concrete, staring at the dirt. We thought it was funny,

"Look at Krissy staring at the ground! What a dorky cat."

Then Duane noticed the fresh dirt - which I didn't care about until I realized something was loosening the soil from underground and the animal doing it was moving toward . . .

. . . the dahlias. They're the small green plants coming up along the foundation of the house.

I started getting worried. I LOVE my dahlias! They are the source of many, many summertime bouquets in our house and they provide so much vibrant color to our yard. If this mole or gopher or whatever ate my dahlias it was going to be WAR.

Fortunately, there was an immediate end to hostilities. We woke up the next morning to this on our back porch . . .

Hello Mr. Dead Mole. I'm so glad you're dead and not eating my plant's roots anymore.

Look at those lethal-looking paws. He's actually kind of cute. Except for the whole dead thing.

Krissy, our fantastic hunter, caught this mole in the middle of the night. And very thoughtfully left it on the porch for us to see. Kitty Krissy got so many pets and treats that day - she's my hero. I don't laugh at her anymore. If Krissy is sitting still watching something, you better believe I pay attention.

Kitty Toby on the other hand, wouldn't know what to do with an animal if it laid down at his feet and said, "Please kill me and use me as a trophy to impress your people".

No, Toby is much better at being a celebrity.

Instead of doing something as crass as killing a varmint, Toby attended Show & Tell. Of course he'll do anything for the kitty treats Katie is holding in her hand.

He's also a veteran. This was his 10th Show & Tell.

"Bring me those kitty treats on a silver platter and make it snappy."

This ends another broadcast of Kogler's Wild Animal Kingdom.

Fat Friday: Yankee Corn Cake

OK, I know there are squillions of corn bread recipes out there. Everybody has favorites. But I'm going to tell you straight up - this is the best cornbread I've ever had.

Apparently there are two types of cornbread - Northern and Southern. Correct me if I'm wrong but I've done extensive research and have consulted many experts at the National Cornbread Institute - ok that's not really true but you should trust me anyway.

Southern cornbread is heavier, denser, uses more cornmeal than flour (or equal amounts) and is better for soaking up things like BBQ juices or maple syrup.

Northern cornbread is lighter and fluffier - it's more tender and sweet with a cake-like consistency.

Can you guess which one I like best? Yes, northern it is.

Many years ago I happened upon a recipe for BBQ pulled pork sandwiches. It was in a magazine and looked amazingly yummy and different because the pork was piled up on pieces of cornbread. You had to eat it with a knife and fork.

As often happens when I'm hungry and at the same time looking through food magazines, I began drooling and planning to make EVERY SINGLE THING IN THE MAGAZINE. You already knew I had a problem with self control. Be quiet. You love me anyway.

So I made the sandwiches. Result? BBQ pork - mediocre. Cornbread - AWESOME. I had found the perfect cornbread without even trying! See usually I go on the equivalent of a knight's quest when I try for the perfect whatever. This one dropped on me like manna from heaven.

Yes folks, today's cornbread is my gift to you and I have a helper ready to . . . uh . . help me.

Hi Daniel! Want to help me make some cornbread? You are the perfect child for this task because you LOVE cornbread. You can eat your BODY WEIGHT in cornbread. Besides, it's time you started earning your keep around here. Making cornbread will be a good start.

Kids these days. Do we REALLY want to know what's going on in their heads?

Start by measuring out a cup of buttermilk. Here's a tip - if you don't have buttermilk, put a tablespoon of vinegar or lemon juice in a measuring cup. Then add enough whole milk to equal 1 cup. Let it stand for a few minutes then stir.

I used to do this frequently because I'd have a spontaneous desire to make cornbread or biscuits - but had no buttermilk. This substitute is OK but personally, I think you get a better product if you use buttermilk. That being my expert opinion and all.

Any day now, America's Test Kitchen is going to call me and ask my opinion about something and I'LL BE READY, MAN.

Slice up a stick of softened butter and drop it into the buttermilk. Microwave until most of the butter is melted. If there are still some small chunks of butter, that's OK because they will eventually melt in the warm milk. You don't want it to get too hot - it will have to cool a bit before you add 1 egg.

Break one egg into a bowl . . .

. . . and scramble it up. This is a favored Kitchen Helper job - breaking eggs. Separating eggs, well, that's on the horizon. The very distant and far-away horizon.

Add the beaten egg to the buttermilk and stir it up.

While the milk/butter is warming and/or cooling, mix up the dry ingredients in a medium mixing bowl. You'll need:

1 c. flour

2/3 c. cornmeal

1/4 c. sugar

1/2 t. salt

1/2 t. baking soda

1/2 t. baking powder

Whisk it all together to break up any chunks of baking soda because biting into a yummy piece of corn bread and encountering an undissolved chunk of baking soda is just GROSS.

I speak from personal experience.

At this point you can add stuff in. Duane and I love chopped chilies, jalapenos and corn in the cornbread but the kids don't like it. Losers. You can also lightly saute some chopped onion or chopped bell peppers (red or green) and add that to the batter. It would taste good and add some great color to the corn bread.

Add these things to the dry ingredients and toss to combine. I prefer to add them at this step because they don't all sink to the bottom of the bread while baking. My expert opinion again.

Add the wet ingredients to the dry and combine.

Pour the batter into a greased, 8x8 glass pan.

Bake 30 -35 minutes at 350F.

It should be golden brown around the edges and a tester should come out clean.

My little Master of the Universe prefers his cornbread drenched in honey. Duane taught all the kids to drizzle it on and let it soak in until it's at perfect eating capacity. We are cornbread eating experts in this house.

Enjoy!

(Click here for printable.)

Gardening 101, the Karenpie Way

Last weekend something amazing happened -

Spring came! For ONE WHOLE DAY. Here, I have proof -

See that? The dark thing in the shape of a puffy, blobby human is called a "shadow". It's very rare in our part of the country because something extraordinary must occur - sunshine.

Fortunately for us, the sun was out all afternoon on Sunday and we definitely took advantage of it! I had some outdoor projects that needed my attention.

Things like transplanting my geraniums from the old, beat up terra cotta planters into darker, non-beat up, new ones and -

- getting garden boxes ready for seeds. Mother's Day weekend is the big weekend for planting in these here parts.

Before this important work can occur, you need tools. I like to gather everything together and dump it in one place before I start:

These are the tools we trained professionals use.

And let's not forget the wasp spray. The wasps were out in droves and - gasp! - dared begin building a nest in the basketball goal. Suckers. Don't they know who they're dealing with? Besides, Daniel has a deep-seated fear of bees and wasps so . . . Matthew to the rescue!

When I was pruning the fruit trees -or, as I like to call it, "randomly chopping a bunch of branches and limbs and hope to heaven you still get fruit come summer" - I was super thirsty and begged one of my nearby kids to grab something for me out of the fridge in the garage.

"What do you want, Mom?"

"Anything. I'll take whatever you bring me."

This is what they brought me -

"But Mom, it says "lemonade" on it."

I did tell them I'd drink whatever they brought me.

I had never before discovered the joys of gardening with a slight buzz on. Make no mistake about it, yard work suddenly got a lot more fun.